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1st Annual ProZ.com Translation Contest: "Awakening" » English to Japanese

Competition in this pair is now closed.

Source text in English

Heathrow Airport is one of the few places in England you can be sure of seeing a gun. These guns are carried by policemen in short-sleeved shirts and black flak-jackets, alert for terrorists about to blow up Tie-Rack. They are unlikely to confront me directly, but if they do I shall tell them the truth. I shall state my business. I’m planning to stop at Heathrow Airport until I see someone I know. (...)

Astonishingly, I wait for thirty-nine minutes and don’t see one person I know. Not one, and no-one knows me. I’m as anonymous as the drivers with their universal name-cards (some surnames I know), except the drivers are better dressed. Since the kids, whatever I wear looks like pyjamas. Coats, shirts, T-shirts, jeans, suits; like slept-in pyjamas. (...)

I hear myself thinking about all the people I know who have let me down by not leaving early on a Tuesday morning for glamorous European destinations. My former colleagues from the insurance office must still be stuck at their desks, like I always said they would be, when I was stuck there too, wasting my time and unable to settle while Ally moved steadily onward, getting her PhD and her first research fellowship at Reading University, her first promotion.

Our more recent grown-up friends, who have serious jobs and who therefore I half expect to be seeing any moment now, tell me that home-making is a perfectly decent occupation for a man, courageous even, yes, manly to stay at home with the kids. These friends of ours are primarily Ally’s friends. I don’t seem to know anyone anymore, and away from the children and the overhead planes, hearing myself think, I hear the thoughts of a whinger. This is not what I had been hoping to hear.

I start crying, not grimacing or sobbing, just big silent tears rolling down my cheeks. I don’t want anyone I know to see me crying, because I’m not the kind of person who cracks up at Heathrow airport some nothing Tuesday morning. I manage our house impeccably, like a business. It’s a serious job. I have spreadsheets to monitor the hoover-bag situation and colour-coded print-outs about the ethical consequences of nappies. I am not myself this morning. I don’t know who I am.

The winning entry has been announced in this pair.

There were 4 entries submitted in this pair during the submission phase. The winning entry was determined based on finals round voting by peers.

Competition in this pair is now closed.


Entries (4 total) Expand all entries

Entry #7163
Peishun CHIANG
Peishun CHIANG
Ճապոնիա
Winner
Voting points1st2nd3rd
225 x41 x20
Entry tagging:
 
 
  • 3 users entered 6 "like" tags
銃を間違いなく目にする数少ない場所である
Flows well
いい翻訳。
Yumico Tanaka
自分の職業や、誰か知り合いに逢うまでヒースロー空港に留まるつもりであることなどだ。
Flows well
Elaborate ​translatio​n.
Yumico Tanaka
留まる
Good term selection
could be 止​まる or 留まる ​read "とどまる​" - either​ way
Minoru Kuwahara
おそろいの名札(中には知っている名字もいくつかあるが)を着けた運転手と同じくらい私は無名であった。
Flows well
よく考えた翻訳だと思​います。
Yumico Tanaka
私の友人はもう一人もいないように思えた
Flows well
4つの中で一番的確な​訳だと思います。
hikated
今朝の私はどうかしている。
Flows well
natural tr​anslation.
Yumico Tanaka
Entry #7160
Voting points1st2nd3rd
153 x41 x21 x1
Entry tagging:
 
 
  • 3 users entered 3 "like" tags
  • 1 user agreed with "likes" (2 total agrees)
ヒースロー空港は英国内で銃を確実に見かけることができる数か所の場所の1つだ
Flows well
well worde​d.
Yumico Tanaka
+1
警戒に当たっているのだ
Flows well
Peishun CHIANG
+1
(中略)
Other
hikated
Entry #7858
Voting points1st2nd3rd
123 x400
Entry tagging:
 
 
  • 3 users entered 6 "like" tags
  • 2 users agreed with "likes" (2 total agrees)
もしそうなったとしたら本当のことを言うさ
Flows well
The colloq​ual way of​ ending is​ good and ​smooth.
Yumico Tanaka
誰か知っている人に会うまで、ヒースロー空港にいるつもりだとね
Flows well
smooth.
Yumico Tanaka
+1
誰一人にも。つまり誰も俺を知らない。知った苗字が書かれたどこにでもあるような名刺を持った運転手と同じくらい、俺は無名だ。運転手はもっとましな服を着ているということを除いてね。
Flows well
Well done,​ smooth.
Yumico Tanaka
愚痴をこぼしたい気持ちだ
Good term selection
Minoru Kuwahara
苦痛に顔をしかめたり、むせび泣いたりするわけではなく、ただ音もなく大粒の涙が頬を伝って流れ落ちる
Flows well
smooth.
Yumico Tanaka
+1
非の打ち所なく家を取り仕切る
Flows well
上手い表現だと思いま​す。
Peishun CHIANG


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